The Privilege: A Labor Day Terror

Episode Summary:
An estimated 600,000 Black women have been pushed out of the labor market since January 2025, a damning statistic that shows the impacts of anti-DEI policies and deep federal job cuts. 

Just in time for Labor Day, these serious statistics get combined with a supernatural scenario in “The Privilege: A Labor Day Terror.” 

The spotlight of this story is on an MBA-holding operations executive named “Tiffany” who is at the mercy of targeted layoffs, predatory career coaches, and a dwindling 401K account. Tiffany pens a LinkedIn post that catches the attention of a tech bro-coded mogul named “Mark Tucker” who offers her a high-paying job and membership into his special program, The Privilege. 

Little does Tiffany know, there is a much higher cost of admission than she could possibly imagine for Mark’s mentorship. 

The episode stars Joanna Moore as “Tiffany” and Andrew Ryan as the mysterious, wealthy ally, “Mark Tucker.” Key members of our cast for this episode include T.J. Pryor-Wells, our charming, but creepy omniscient narrator “Greatmomma.” 

Also marking her fifth consecutive appearance in the Home for the Holidays universe portraying both “The Tester” and “Coach Kayla” is voiceover veteran kittie KaBoom, aka the "Cita" in BET's groundbreaking "Cita's World." 

For Fans Of:

Workplace horror, workplace comedy, psychological horror, satire, social thrillers. Get Out, The Firm, The Substance, The Beauty, Twilight Zone, Severance, The X-Files, Widow's Bay, Industry, Succession

THE CAST:
GREATMOMMA (NARRATOR): T.J. Pryor-Wells
TIFFANY: Joanna Moore
MARK TUCKER: Andrew Ryan
POLICE OFFICER: Gary Scales
BOSS: Andrew Ryan
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Kozi Kyles
ANTONIO: Jamie Treselyan
COACH KAYLA: kittie KaBoom
THE TESTER: kittie KaBoom
GERALD: Dylan Ha
ASIA: LaToya Cross
TERRI: aL Washington
PROTESTOR 1: Casey Baker
PROTESTOR 2: Andrew Ryan
ADDITIONAL PROTESTORS: Kyra Kyles, Kozi Kyles
MARK TUCKER 2.0:  Reason Dixon

Created, written and directed by The Kyles Sisters (Kyra Kyles and Kozi Kyles), two siblings raised on horror and Black folklore.  
Myth Lab Entertainment
Sound Design/mixed by Casey Baker
Intro/Outro Music “Opulent Intrigue” by: Sunshine Music | 4LQPY2QEMAXCOOVQ
Additional Music:
"Cautious Intrigue" by Tristan Barton

Your holidays are numbered... Follow @mythlabent on TikTok and Instagram. Friend us on Facebook at Myth Lab Entertainment. 

Transcript

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Greatmomma 0:02

Myth Lab Entertainment presents Home for the Holidays. The Privilege.

Police Officer 0:23

Stand up. Hands behind your back.

Tiffany 0:27

Uh but why, officer, what did I do? What did you do?

Police Officer 0:32

You just spat in this man's face, ma'am. Assault. You hit those two women over there with this sign. Also assault.

Tiffany 0:41

What sign? Make America hate again. Sir, I don't know what this is about. I am here with my girlfriends. We just came from brunch. They're over there. Hey! Asia! Terri! Hey! Hey! I need help.

Police Officer 1:02

Maybe you ought to investigate what they put in your mimosas. The women you're talking about are the ones pressing charges. Let's go, Miss Hollis.

Tiffany 1:10

Officer, no. Please, please, let me just talk to them.

Police Officer 1:15

This speaks for itself. Doesn't it?

Tiffany 1:40

Make America hate again! Make America hate again! That’s right, go back to Africa, you ghetto hoochie mamas. There are kids playing in this park.

Police Officer 1:47

Seen enough. Let's go.

Tiffany 1:49

Oh my God. I don't know what's going on. That couldn't be me. That couldn't be me.

Greatmomma 1:58

Well, I guess you've met Tiffany, my oldest great niece. If you knew her, you'd be in deep disbelief. A straight A student and an athlete to boot. A chronic overachiever who has always made loot. She was undergrad at Duke, earned her MBA from Northwestern. Her being a success was never in question. She climbed the corporate ladder as an operations whiz.

Boss 2:24

Congratulations on your promotion.

Greatmomma 2:28

But as she climbed a bit higher, the steps started to give. She was passed over for a promotion. Not a huge deal. She had patience, endurance, and nerves of steel. Passed up two more times. She did some reflection. Seemed like only Black women were getting rejections. And this phenomenon was in play everywhere. Layoffs crashing in waves, and none of them fair.

Boss 2:58

The members leaving us today are valuable parts of our organization. Let's thank them for their contributions. Quickly, before we cut off their team's access.

Tiffany 3:04

Oh my god!

Greatmomma 3:07

She made it through three rounds and started feeling secure. She even booked an overseas vacation, a safari tour. But just a few hours into her flight abroad, she opened an urgent email.

Boss 3:22

Your entire department was dissolved.

Tiffany 3:25

Oh my God!

Tiffany 3:26

Somebody help me!

Tiffany 3:28

I need to use this oxygen mask!

Flight Attendant 3:31

Ma'am, that is only an event of a change in cabin pressure. Take your seat, or we'll remove you from the flight.

Tiffany 3:38

Would I be able to get a refund? You're OK. You got this. You still got your savings.

Greatmomma 3:50

This started the spiral that brings us to this point, with Tiffany cuffed and crying, enroute to the joint. She had been unemployed a year and a half. Her savings were near empty, and her credit was trash. She had a spreadsheet to track her hundreds of applications. She'd only gotten three interviews and two sketchy situations. She attended empowerment brunches, sent pain letters to CEOs. She hired five different career coaches. Nothing got her a roll. So let's run it back, as the youngsters might say. This tale is called The Privilege, and it begins this way.

Antonio 4:35

This is Tiffany. Hi, Tiffany, it's Antonio. How are you doing?

Tiffany 4:39

Fine, thanks. I'm uh heading into a meeting.

Antonio 4:45

Oh, sure, I understand. I got your latest request, and I have to warn you: if you take this amount, you won't get what you're looking for. Uncle Sam is gonna tax you at 30%, and then there is a fee for early withdrawal.

Tiffany 4:57

Uh-huh.

Antonio 4:58

I know we went over this the last time, but there will be $1,000 left if you want me to make this transaction. You there, Tiffany?

Tiffany 5:07

I don't expect you to understand. But I have bills to pay, so I would really appreciate it if you could just process it as fast as possible. I'm not a child. I don't need a lecture. And I understand if you have to drop me as a client.

Antonio 5:22

Hey, hey, I'm sorry. I get it. Times are tough. It's just that it's my responsibility to let you know the ramifications. I'll email you when the transaction is processing.

Tiffany 5:32

Okay, so how soon will funds be available?

Antonio 5:34

In about 15 days.

Tiffany 5:36

Thanks. I gotta go. The meeting is starting.

Coach Kayla 5:39

Grand rising, Tiffany. How does the day find you, sis?

Tiffany 5:51

Hello, Coach Kayla. It finds me...OK.

Coach Kayla 5:53

 That’s not good enough!

Tiffany 5:53 Tiffany 5:53

I'm feeling powerful and prepared.

Coach Kayla 6:05

That's much better.

Tiffany 6:05

So I was going on LinkedIn like you advised to post about my progress.

Coach Kayla 6:12

Before we get into that...Did you get my coaching in voice?

Tiffany 6:14

I did. And I still have 15 days. You'll have your money.

Coach Kayla 6:18

Well, that's good to hear because just like you, I know my worth, sis.

Coach Kayla 6:20

I can’t share my knowledge for free.

Tiffany 6:29

Um then, yes, like I said, you'll have your money. I had to move some funds around, but I haven't gotten any interviews since we started working together. Our contract says five guaranteed interviews.

Coach Kayla 6:43

Indeed, it does. And I'm sure you saw the clause there. It says, if the client does the work. I'm not a magician after all.

Tiffany 6:56

I am doing the work. I posted on LinkedIn. I reached out to the list of CEOs you gave me. I spent money I don't have on that Chicken, Waffles and Work-Life balance brunch in Atlanta. I'm still paying off that stay at the Ladies Who Lead in Life conference.

Coach Kayla 7:13

Well, I hate to tell you this because I know you are trying in your way. But despite those experiences, you are still giving a low vibration aura. It's giving desperate. It's giving pick me. It's giving. "I haven't worked in years."

Tiffany 7:37

I haven't worked in years. That's why I'm talking to you right now. The idea was you would change that.

Coach Kayla 7:45

Aha! No accountability either. Did you attend that workshop I sent you about owning your shit?

Tiffany 7:54

I did, but I saw you were leading it, so it didn't make sense to spend more money when we talk every week. Why don't we go over what you shared right now?

Coach Kayla 8:03

That's a different track, Tiffany that is not covered under this contract. But I can offer you a 50% discount on a replay of the video. It was very popular.

Tiffany 8:15

How many of the women who are attending are working?

Coach Kayla 8:23

Come again?

Tiffany 8:23

I said how many of the women who attended have a job? Let's expand that. How many women that you coach have gotten a job?

Coach Kayla 8:33

Oh dear, did you say something? You are breaking up. It may be on my end. Why don't we do this? Let's set up time to chat later this week. In the meantime, my offer for Own Your Shit still stands. Just let a sista know.

Greatmomma 9:06

Tiffany paced through her kitchen, her mind and heart racing. Did this snake oil saleswoman understand the fate she was facing? She was one notice from eviction. Her parents couldn't afford a loan. Her pride, like her money and credit, was gone. Normally she kept this information bottled up inside. You'd never want to show you a suffering. It makes most hiring folks hide. She'd barely told her two best girlfriends, but in a moment of desperation, she opened LinkedIn. She was filled with inspiration. And in a post that she would remember for the rest of her days, she spilled on how she'd been suffering, how her funds slipped away. She talked about racism, microaggressions, the glass ceiling. She gave voice to losing her 401k and shared all of her feelings. When she was finished, and though she had done the absolute most, she didn't hesitate a second. She went ahead and hit post. Then she went to her bedroom, slipped on her satin cap, and with a face streaked with tears, took a long, dreamless nap.

Tiffany 10:20

What the hell? Oh my God!

Greatmomma 10:34

In all her years on LinkedIn, Tiffany got a handful of likes, but after this post, she got the biggest reaction of life. Thousands of insights, celebrates, and supports. She was hearing from executives who'd never connected before. There were so many comments offering empathy and assistance. One even suggested she start a corporate resistance. But the comment that most clearly caught my great niece's eye was one offering her a job if she would only reply. Now Tiffany knew better than these MLM schemes, but when she clicked on who commented, it was just like a dream. It was one of the CEOs that she sent a request, so she checked this Mark Tucker profile for any AI mess. But it was proven legit, so with fingers shaking and scared, she sent him a response, she was powerful and prepared. After some back and forth, it was decided they'd meet at a renowned Chicago steakhouse, of course, Mark Tucker's treat. He probably owned the whole block. No. Make that the street.

Mark Tucker 11:51

Apologies, I was late. Shareholder meeting.

Tiffany 11:56

I certainly understand. Thank you so much for the invitation. It's wonderful to meet you in person.

Mark Tucker 12:01

Is it? Folks tell me I'm a bit of a disappointment in real life. Not as interesting as it all looks on social.

Tiffany 12:10

No, no. I'm not disappointed in the least. I followed your career since you found a culture clash, and the trajectory is incredible.

Mark Tucker 12:19

Have you worked in the marketing industry before?

Tiffany 12:22

I have not, but I've worked with the agencies my past organizations have hired. Operations is always in the mix, so I got a sense of the industry and the way they approach their work. I am confident that I can.

Mark Tucker 12:36

Tiffany, Tiffany. This isn't a job interview. You don't have to sell yourself to me. I'm just making conversation. Hey there! Where are the steaks we ordered? I've been waiting five minutes. How long does it take? I'm on a tight schedule. I don't care whose table you're serving. Go find our food. Sorry about that, Tiffany. My Achilles heel is I'm into efficiency. Now, where were we?

Tiffany 13:09

You were saying this isn't a job interview.

Mark Tucker 13:11

That's right. I'm prepared to make you an offer. I looked at your experience. Remind me, did you attend an HBCU?

Tiffany 13:21

No, I didn't, but I did start an organization to help HBCU students get into the operations pipeline. It's called Black Ops.

Mark Tucker 13:32

Oh my! Oh that is so clever. And you grew up on the South Side of Chicago.

Tiffany 13:39

I did. It's a community called Beverly, but it might be misleading. I know the South Side has somewhat of a reputation. Beverly was very Irish Catholic. It's like a suburb in the city.

Mark Tucker 13:50

Hmm. That must have been challenging. Was it boring to grow up there?

Tiffany 13:52

Boring?

Mark Tucker 13:58

Me, myself, I've always wondered what it would be like to grow up on the real South or West side of the city. You know, the action is. I am a Lincoln Park boy myself. My father owned a furniture chain that was a big hit on the north side. You may have heard of it. Wood and iron.

Tiffany 14:19

Oh, yes.

Mark Tucker 14:20

Very good. Very good. Yes, this is the seed money that built Culture Clash. I'm grateful to him for that. I recognize that I have an immense amount of privilege, and that's why when I see a story like yours, it moves me to action. I want to make sure more talented individuals with potential get to experience something I was essentially handed from a young age. But that's enough about me. So, the one thing that is very important at our company is that our employees be a part of the zeitgeist. You get my meaning? They need to be all over TikTok, threads, Instagram. Whatever's, as they say, popping. Our company can't survive if we aren't ahead of the culture curve. It's odd, but the advantages I have as a white man can sometimes make it hard for me to tap into that. Do you understand what I mean?

Tiffany 15:30

Uh, I think so.

Mark Tucker 15:32

It's okay. I can admit it. Privilege is like being in a private club. It has its advantages and disadvantages. It's about time. And where the hell is the cream spinach she ordered? Go get it now.

Tiffany 15:54

Oh, it's fine. I can get started on this. No. No, you can't.

Mark Tucker 15:59

This meal needs to be complete. He knows that. Move! What are you waiting on? An engraved invitation to use your legs?

Tiffany 16:12

It's actually fine. And please go easy on him. I'm enjoying your conversation. Maybe I tipped them to be slow so we can keep talking about culture clash.

Mark Tucker 16:23

Oh man! Oh! Oh, that's hilarious! I love it! Oh, a kind individual and also a smart one. I'll tell you a little secret. This is actually part of my test that I give new employees. How do they behave with wait staff? That young man is no waiter. He's Carter Reynolds, our head of communications.

Tiffany 16:52

Oh my!

Mark Tucker 16:53

This steakhouse is actually underneath Culture Clash's secondary headquarters. Everyone you see here is an employee. Here to test how well you mesh with our culture.

Tiffany 17:07

How'd I do?

Mark Tucker 17:08

Splendidly! I watched how courteous you were, even to the coat room girl Bianca. She's a Spelman grad, in fact. You were most kind to her, I noticed.

Tiffany 17:20

I don't know about that, but she's a very sweet girl. So who is she? The head of marketing?

Mark Tucker 17:26

No, she's actually the coat room girl. Uh, but who knows? One day she might be up for a promotion. But let's focus on you for now. I can offer you a $200,000 salary, full benefits, three-week vacation, your own office, and subsidized rent here in our penthouse apartments. You will also be part of a mentorship program that I personally supervise. It's uh a little ironically titled. It's called the Privilege.

Tiffany 18:01

Oh, Mr. Tucker, you don't know what this means to me.

Mark Tucker 18:04

Call me Mark. There's still one more step. I can't have unstable individuals working at this company. We've had some incidents in the past. What I need you to do is take a battery of tests administered by our head of HR, April Mays. Once we see those results, the offer formally goes out for review. And of course, you can and should negotiate.

Tiffany 18:36

Absolutely. When can I take the test?

Mark Tucker 18:39

As soon as you finish your lunch. That is, if you have the bandwidth today.

Tiffany 18:45

I do, I do. Thank you so much, Mark. This is what I've been praying for. It's such an honor to have gotten to talk with you.

Mark Tucker 18:54

Oh, no, no. The privilege is all mine.

The Tester 19:07

Your name is Tiffany Hollis.

Tiffany 19:10

Correct.

Coach Kayla 19:13

You grew up in Beverly on 103rd and Longwood. Correct. Who is ASAP Rocky married to?

The Tester 19:25

Trick question. ASAP Rocky is with Rihanna, but we have no current proof. They're legally married.

Coach Kayla 19:32

Correct. Name a song you would hear at a family cookout.

Tiffany 19:38

Joy and pain.

The Tester 19:42

Who is the artist?

Tiffany 19:44

Frankie Beverly and Maze.

The Tester 19:50

Do you cook?

Tiffany 19:51

I do.

The Tester 19:52

Which of these ingredients does not belong in a potato salad? Mayonnaise? Sweet relish? Raisins.

Tiffany 20:02

Raisins.

The Tester 20:07

Another multiple choice question. In what album does the artist Beyonce explore her husband's infidelities? Lemonade? Kool-Aid? Or Sunny D.

Tiffany 20:18

Lemonade. But you could argue she also does some introspection in Cowboy Carter.

The Tester 20:28

Bonus points. Record score. Speed round. Finish the sentence.

Tiffany 20:33

Okay.

The Tester 20:34

Ready? You lit.

Tiffany 20:36

You the birthday candle.

The Tester 20:37

If a person can't sing, but they are very loud, what are they in fact doing?

Tiffany 20:42

Hootin' and hollering.

The Tester 20:43

Which rapper is a paper chaser who has the block on fire?

Tiffany 20:47

Juvenile a.k.a. Juvie the Great.

The Tester 20:50

Congratulations. You have passed the Culture Clash Relevancy Test. Perfect score. Please proceed to HR to receive your offer to be our director of operations. And learn more about your first in-person meeting for the Privileged Program.

Greatmomma 21:13

Fast forward three months later, we were all happy for my great niece. She moved to the Culture Clash's penthouse in a two-year lease. She got a company car, for some reason, a Tesla truck. We warned her it was risky to rep for Elon Musk. She had a brand new wardrobe, a black card, a fat 401k. She traveled all over the globe. She was both happy and paid. There was only a slight problem, but nothing she cared to explore. She was having a few memory challenges. It was happening more and more. For example, one day she left to go pick up an order at Harold's, then came to at her table alone at Cracker Barrel. Another time she was making mac and cheese for a cookout at Aunt Deja’s, But when she tasted the family fave it was lacking in flavor. When she went back to her cabinet to make sure it was kicking, all she had was salt and pepper. The other spices were missing.

Tiffany 22:13

Lord, no, not the Lawry's.

Greatmomma 22:16

And she found herself hanging with her friends less and less. When they asked what was ailing her, she just told them...

Tiffany 22:23

Stress.

Greatmomma 22:25

But that didn't explain another strange phenomenon that was happening in her life. Mark Tucker seemed to be transforming as if overnight. She saw him each week as they met for the privilege. About 50 black executives who formed a tight-knit village. Mark led the meetings, sharing long-hidden advice that had helped his fellow white leaders excel in all walks of life. But far from the robotic CEO she talked to over stake, he was getting cooler and cooler with each meeting they take. Even his walk was smooth, a prime Denzel Washington strut. He knew all the most popular slang. It was all a bit much. Meanwhile, Tiffany found herself in Auntie territory. I can't do it justice. Let's hear the rest of the story.

Tiffany 23:29

Good, good. Love to hear it. Hey, can someone come up and take a look and see at my computer? Whatever you want to say. Yeah, I'll see you soon. At least not if I see you first. Oh God, what is this song? Help! Gerald, come in.

Gerald 24:32

Hey Tiff, I hurried right over. Now normally I don't touch personal socials. But I understand you're using it to promote sanctioned company activities, correct?

Tiffany 24:42

Abso friggin' lutley.

Gerald 24:45

Okay. Can I get in here and check some things out?

Tiffany 24:47

Be my guest.

Gerald 24:52

That's a nice groove you got going. Who is this?

Tiffany 24:55

Um, I don't I don't know.

Gerald 24:59

You don't? This is your liked list?

Tiffany 25:03

It is? I have to say, Gerald. Maybe it's picking songs for me. This doesn't ring a bell. Matter of fact, if you don't mind, can I slide on some Billy Ray Cyrus? I'm just going to work over here, and frankly, that song is making me feel jittery. Sure thing.

Gerald 25:25

Huh. Do you think maybe your personal devices got breached?

Tiffany 25:30

What do you mean? No, I was just on these same sites before I got into the office. That's why it's so strange.

Gerald 25:37

What were you doing?

Tiffany 25:38

Nothing. Just scheduling posts, trying to get ahead. I got here, tried to get on to make a few edits, and nothing doing.

Gerald 25:47

Well, this is odd. It seems like your accounts are restricted.

Tiffany 25:52

On everything?

Gerald 25:53

Everything I can see. I mean, I don't want to get into your business or anything. But when I've seen this, it's when posts violate guidelines. Any chance you got a little carried away with the promo? Or maybe someone hacked you?

Tiffany 26:08

Not a chance on either front, fella. I appreciate you trying to help. I'll figure it out. I have a lot to do before this meeting.

Gerald 26:15

Okie dokie.

Tiffany 26:16

Have a good weekend. TGIF, am I right? Asia and Terry! (reading text) Girl, we need to see you in person to talk. Meet us at the Blood Orange noon on Saturday. (typing response) Okay. Would love that. Haven't seen y'all in weeks. My treat? But can we go to OHOP instead? The food at Blood Orange is a little too spicy for me these days. Thanks, XOXO. = Okay, time to find out why I'm excommunicated from social.

Greatmomma 27:06

I don't know too much about the internet. That's before my time. But based on what the family's been saying, Tiffany has crossed every line. She couldn't access her posts, but from what we could find, she had gone on every social platform and Plum lost her mind. She supported All Lives Matter, started a fight with Jasmine Crockett, and cussed out the entirety of black threads before anyone could stop it. She congratulated Target on eradicating DEI. She supported the weakening of voters' rights, and to our horror and surprise, she went on the Oscars page with the list of winners and said "One Battle After Another" was way better than "Sinners". But the cherry on top of that, according to our kin, is she joined the Facebook group Make America Hate Again. It was a network brimming with bigots who were shocked by her support. A couple of her posts could have landed her in court. But she had no idea, and thanks to a blackout one-two-punch, she wasn't herself again until it was time to meet her friends at brunch. She was all dolled up and excited to meet. But they wanted to confront her about what she was doing in these social streets. Asia and Terri were thinking her brand new job wasn't a blessing but a curse. And though they were on the right track, it was something far worse. They'd convinced her to go to Blood Orange, their favorite spot. But when she arrived, she was acting like an air-headed snot.

Terri 28:47

Thanks for meeting us.

Tiffany 28:48

Of course. Why are y'all being so weird? Give me a hug.

Terri 28:52

The last time we saw you, we tried to hug you and you gave us a stiff-ass handshake.

Asia 28:57

Yeah, then you gave us dap and missed.

Tiffany 28:59

What are you talking about? I haven't seen you since August.

Asia 29:03

We just saw you, girl. We came in your cousin's baby shower. You brought the mac and cheese, remember?

Tiffany 29:09

Oh yeah.

Terri 29:10

It was off. So were you. Girl, I'm sorry they put you on paper plate duty. You deserve at least another chance. Your Mac is usually fire.

Tiffany 29:20

Fire? It wasn't burned.

Asia 29:23

Okay. So we already ordered and we can just focus on a conversation. Girl, we're worried about you.

Tiffany 29:31

Oh, what did you get?

Asia 29:33

Your favorite. The Cajun bowl with the crawfish, collard greens, and extra hot sauce.

Tiffany 29:38

Oh my lord, hot sauce? I can't eat that. And collard greens, bleh. Don't they have any cottage cheese? A fruit plate?

Terri 29:47

What the hell? Tiffany, are you feeling alright?

Tiffany 29:48

I feel just dandy.

Terri 29:53

Dandy?

Tiffany 29:58

Hey, quick. Slide your purses over here. I'll put them in the empty chair next to me.

Asia 30:03

Wait, what?

Tiffany 30:04

There's a big tall black man walking around between the tables. I'm on to him. Don't you worry.

Asia 30:11

That's the owner. I'm sure he doesn't want what's in our wallets. That man is rich.

Terri 30:17

Sure, that's what he wants you to believe. Okay, so it looks like we just need to get right to the point. You've been acting weird since you got this job. And not just to us. We thought you were just stressed and tired, but you've been saying some weird shit.

Tiffany 30:31

Such as...

Terri 30:32

Yhe stuff you posted all over social, for example. You've been tripping, but supporting racist Facebook groups? Trolling Black Lives Matter? Girl, I blocked you after you said Barack Obama was a communist spy.

Asia 30:44

Girl, you better than me. I blocked you after she made her profile picture of Taylor Swift.

Tiffany 30:50

Wait, y'all are out of your minds? I didn't do any of that. I must have been hacked.

Asia 30:55

Well, that hacker is pretty good because whoever it is sent us both a text telling us you weren't coming to our houses anymore because we lived in the ghetto.

Terri 31:04

Shut the front door? I didn't say that. Shut the front door? You sound like you have split personalities.

Tiffany 31:14

Oh my god. Are you threatening me?

Asia, Terri 31:16

Whaaaat?

Tiffany 31:17

I get it. You called me here to jump me. That's what you people do. Wow.

Asia 31:23

You people?

Tiffany 31:24

Yeah. Well, you can sit here and eat your collard greens and fat back and grits by yourselves. I will not be bullied by the likes of you.

Asia 31:32

Where are you going? We are not done talking to you.

Tiffany 31:35

Yes, you are. Now get away from my vehicle.

Terri 31:38

Tiffany, get back here.

Tiffany 31:39

Let go of my door. I am pulling off.

Terri 31:43

You better not. Wait a damn minute. Is that a Make America Hate poster in your backseat?

Tiffany 31:48

As a matter of fact, there is. Thanks for the reminder. I'm late to meet up with my real friends.

Asia 31:55

Who is that?

Tiffany 31:56

Here they come now.

Protestors 31:59

Make America Hate Again! Make America Hate Again!

Terri 31:59

Oh my god, she has totally lost it.

Asia 32:02

Oh hell nah! Plan B. We gotta call her mama. Mrs. Hollis would be mad that we waited this long.

Tiffany 32:09

Wait for me, guys! Make America hate again! Make America hate again! Make America hate again! Everyone, I was just tricked into going to a liberal hotbed of a brunch restaurant. It is owned by what is clearly an Antifa scam artist serving up a side of diabetes with every plate. Make America Hate Again! Make America Hate Again!

Protestor #1 32:36

Whoa, is she with us?

Protestor #2 32:39

Hell, the more the merrier.

Protestor #1 32:39 Protestor #1 32:42

But she's...

Protestor #2 32:43

It's a numbers game at this point. Let's go! Make America hate again! Make America hate again!

Terri 32:51

Do not go over there, girl! Those folks are crazy! They look like January 6 psychos!

Protestors 32:55

Make America hate again! Make America hate again!

Tiffany 32:57

Nice try! Those are patriots and FYI, they’ve been exonerated!

Asia 33:12

Put that sign down!

Tiffany 33:12

Let me go, let me go!

Terri 33:12

We've got to ca the police. We got no choice. Tiffany, don't you dare, don't you dare!

Tiffany 33:27

I keep telling you I was at brunch with my friends. We were having a good time. I don't remember anything else.

Police Officer 33:35

That's a convenient story. Like I said, we have you on video.

Tiffany 33:39

I'm not saying another word without a lawyer.

Police Officer 33:42

Well, that makes you look decidedly more suspicious. But you're in luck. An attorney is here and says he represents you.

Tiffany 33:51

Mark! Oh my God, Mark! This is so embarrassing. I'm so sorry they dragged you into this.

Mark Tucker 2.0, Mark Tucker 33:57

NBD, little mama. I got you. Had to pull some strings to get back here, but you smart. Don't give nothing to 12. You gotta hold it down.

Tiffany 34:07

Why are you talking like that?

Mark Tucker 2.0, Mark Tucker 34:10

Like what? I'm saying though, we gotta send the best lawyers money can buy. They gonna get you out of here. Eat the charges. Woo woo woo! Free Tiffany 'til it's backwards.

Tiffany 34:19

And this won't affect my job? I heard I heard that I am banned from almost every social media platform. Can you take care of that too?

Mark Tucker 2.0 34:32

Oh hell nah.

Mark Tucker 2.0, Mark Tucker 34:33

I ain't got it like that. You're gonna have to fall back. Oh god. But don't even sweat it. You're still gonna cop a check. Same amount of M's.

Tiffany 34:42

My apartment?

Mark Tucker 2.0, Mark Tucker 34:44

You can't go back there, my dude. Report a state now as we speak. Nah, you gotta go on the ground like Kanye, Nicki Minaj and them. You gotta go on the ground like Kanye. Jellyroll and post Malone. I got you a spot. A chill little island compound in Belize. You gonna post up there. We'll find you a job you can do where nobody knows you. You feel me?

Tiffany 35:06

No, I don't feel you. I don't know what's going on. You come in here sounding like Lil' Boosie telling me I have a job and a check, but can't work? You're shipping me away for things I don't remember doing. Can you please help me understand what is going on?

Mark Tucker 2.0, Mark Tucker 35:23

Aight, bet. What is going on, Tiffany? Is that your journey with the privilege has come to an end. It doesn't last forever. Well, not for people like you. I got what I wanted, you got what you wanted, and now it's time to part ways. I think I'm being very generous. You are still going to be highly compensated. Where you're headed, you can live like Mark Zuckerberg, my other favorite Mark.

Tiffany 35:54

But I didn't do any of the things they said. What is this? AI? Are you framing me?

Mark Tucker 36:01

No, AI is hardly that sophisticated. I should know I own hella stock in OpenAI. You were not framed. You were drained. The testing. The privilege. Exactly! I found a way to siphon some of the cool off of you and your brothas and sistas, as you all call each other. It's an even exchange. A little bit of culture for a little bit of privilege.

Tiffany 36:28

So the whole thing about wanting to share what you got without even deserving it? That was a lie?

Mark Tucker 36:36

No, not so much a lie. But an interpolation of the truth. You see, Tiffany, I have everything in life I could want. Money, houses, cars, a bunker in San Francisco next door to Sam Altman. But what I really wanted, I couldn't buy. An invitation to the cookout. Now, not only am I in all the 1% circles, I get invited to the BET Awards. People give me original credit for TikTok dances. I even golf with Samuel L. Jackson. In fact, right now I'm headed to a little soiree at Kendrick Lamar's house. I'd invite you, but you not like us.

Tiffany 37:27

You bastard! You won't get away with this! I will tell everyone what you've done! I am not going to get shipped away to some other country because you pumped me full of anti-black shrooms. I've been who I am for 30 years. One incident won't change that.

Mark Tucker 37:46

For real, sis, ask Snoop Dogg. Homeboy still ain't recovered from that crypto ball bullshit.

Tiffany 37:53

You won't get away with this, baby. You won't get away with this!

Mark Tucker 37:57

I've been got away with this. One!

Tiffany 38:02

He's not a lawyer. I need a real lawyer. Somebody help me! Somebody help me! It wasn't me! It wasn't me! It was the privilege! It was the privilege!

Greatmomma 38:19

I wish I could say that the guards heard her yells and that she got a lawyer to spring her up out of that cell. But instead, Culture Clash sent her some of their own to work out a deal or more like a loan. In exchange for keeping all her assets and earnings, they got to keep half of her cool and Mark Tucker's learnings. She'd cop to the actions that got her caught up, but the case would be sealed and never brought up. She did not have to move all the way to Belize, but she did leave Chicago for a set of house keys to a spot in Calabasas owned by Mark Tucker. Let's just say he was a wily, deranged motherf**cker. In exchange for her silence, she could work there remote. He gave her a new car and even a boat. She could not talk to her parents or reach out to her friends, and he wiped all her socials so there were no posts to defend. As for the cool he extracted, he returned some of that. So she had only occasional blackouts and misremembering of facts. She regained her taste buds and ability to season. She remembered her music taste, but for some unknown reason, when she sees a red hat and despite the color of her skin, she can't resist shouting, make America hate again. So remember this lesson. You can be down and out. You can be on your last dollar and riddled with doubt. If you get a DM from a strange CEO offering you a job, even if you have no place to go, think about my great niece and the loss of her village. Never be down bad enough to trade for the privilege. Tune in for the next episode of Home for the Holidays: Clearing the Air. When an introverted woman inherits her beloved grandmother's estate, the biggest challenges she faces are jealous relatives. But after dishes start flying and she begins to hear voices, she finds out the fight is with spirits claiming squatters' rights. MythLab Entertainment presents Home for the Holidays, a new horror comedy anthology. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.